Many people, regardless of their political or religious affiliation would say that they are proud of the country in which they live.  They feel lucky to have grown up where they did and belong to the family that raised them.  I, for example, believe I am a well-adjusted, happy member of my society.  My parents were not perfect people, but they lead me in a direction that brought me here.

Let us for a moment imagine what each of us would be like, act, feel, think if we were born in a fishing village on the banks of the Amazon river.  Your favorite food would be something very different.  Best friend someone unfamiliar to you now.  The activities that make you smile deep inside would be of a different nature.  One might say that you would, in all important ways, no longer be you.

How could that be?  You were born with the same tendencies towards education and/or great love of the outdoors. You still had the same drive and passion, or lack thereof.  You still had a vibrant sense of humor or dry cynical wit.  What then is the difference?  Why is the you born where you were and the you born along the great river completely unrecognizable to one another?  It can’t simply be the face or the hair color.  The accent or the height wouldn’t matter.  If you were able to have a deep informal sit down with another version of exactly you with a different face; you would know it.

The difference is simply in the environment.  The differing forms of education and parenting.  The life lessons you had to learn to make it through your day as a youth would be quite foreign to one another.  The relative that sat you down to enlighten you to the world would have a story to weave and moral to convey that would likely hold little value for the other version.  The uniting factor for both, however, would be your choice to derive happiness from the cards that you were dealt.

The thought I am hoping to put into your head is not simply the argument of nature vs. nurture.  While my views on that subject likely poked through in the first couple of paragraphs, it is undeniable that the you born in your home country and the you born in the fishing village would not be the same person.  What I want to speak to is the desire to take what you are given and the choices you make with the circumstances in which we all find ourselves today.  Because like it or not, we cannot change our past, we can only attempt to shape our future.

Now, let us pull that analogy back from the extreme to a more manageable scenario.  What if you were born on another side of the country?  Would you be exactly the same?  Think of the people from another state or region, do they act exactly like you?  The same thoughts about government or guns or religion?  What if you were born on the other side of your own town?  To a family with a different income and belief system.  Still you?  In many ways, probably very similar, but in very profound ways probably not.

One could say that a version of you or me is born on the other side of town on a fairly regular basis.  To a family that has wealth or one that is just barely scraping by.  To a home were both parents are present or one in which the father is wearing his fingers bloody trying to make sure you have the things you need.  To a mother and father of a different race or simply a different religion.  You have the same tendencies to good or bad behavior.  The same joy for life or occasional blue periods. The same drive to be someone or just simply to get by.  We are all just slightly different versions of you and I born to different circumstances.

So why then do we divide ourselves so often?  Tribalism is so rarely a good thing.  Cheering for a different sports team can be both fun and healthy.  Supporting a different political party is often good for the nation.  Dividing ourselves by race, religion or even wealth lends itself to dire consequences. This is a habit and way of thinking that needs to be broken.  Should we disagree on ideologies?  Yes, disagreements lead to innovation and further dialogue for a better tomorrow.  Should we dismiss each other based on the circumstances of our birth?  Not if we ever dream of something better for our children.

Is it fair when one child is born in an upper-middle class family and the other a working poor?  In many ways, it is not fair.  One is likely to be much closer with their family.  The other learn the lessons of hard work and dedication.  One may see the lesson of dealing with addiction and be more adept at overcoming it themselves or more susceptible, while the other may bury themselves in school work to make something of their future. Now, while reading through this list, if you have assigned in your mind which of these children belongs to each scenario, you are exhibiting a version of tribalism.  All of these things occur in both families of wealth and families struggling to get by.

We often see only our own struggle, no matter the circumstances in which we were raised.  Those that had to struggle to get by may see the more affluent as privileged.  Those of one race may look down on the others.  Those without religion may see those with faith as not intelligently advanced.  These are just a mere fraction of the possible examples.  So, if you feel you don’t exhibit any of these traits, please know all the opposite statements are true.  The rich often look down upon the poor or the religious on those without faith.  It is far more likely that you and I fit into multiple categories then to none.  When we look at a person’s skin color and make a determination about them, we do one another an injustice.  When we see the style of someone’s clothes and determine the quality of their character, we hurt not only that person but our own chances of bettering our tomorrow.  When we see a cross around someone’s neck or a humanist shirt on their back and see only what you have been lead to believe about all those of a different faith, we, as a human race are lessened.

The only tribe we should belong to is the human tribe.  We must judge one another, all the time and every day.  I would ask that you do it after you have spoken with a person, after you have seen what it is they do with their life currently.  You never know who it is that will lift you up on their shoulders or simply lend you a shoulder to cry on.  While the circumstances of our births may differ, we all have the human experience in common and the more we look for that in others the more we will find common ground.